I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
