make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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