I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Boobs speak an international language.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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