Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
