I want to have your abortion
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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