Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
