We're facebook friends in real life
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
