Soap is not a condiment
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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