The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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