I'm lost and stupid without you.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
