When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize