I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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