Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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