Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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