): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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