Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
