my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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