so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
