so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
