I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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