Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
