dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
