To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
