"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
