Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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