Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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