y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
