I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We have started to decorate penises.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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