My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
