We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
