She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize