Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What drink are we having for lunch?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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