So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
