so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
