she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
