I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
