also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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