I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize