Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
