He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
