When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
