i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize