Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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