If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
