I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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