areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
