she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
