if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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