everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
