stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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