At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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