Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
