So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
