it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
