Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just pee around me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize