if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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