I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think your dad took our porno
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
