I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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